Local
Probie Sets New Department Record for Hose Entanglement
Veteran firefighters "genuinely impressed" by the complexity of the knots involved.
3 weeks ago
Chud Johnson News Staff
Probationary firefighter Tyler "Pretzel" Johnson has set a new department record after becoming so thoroughly entangled in a 1.75" attack line that the Technical Rescue Team had to be called.
"I've been doing this for 30 years," said Captain Martinez, reviewing photos of the incident. "I've seen people tangled in hose before. But this... this is art. I don't even understand how he got the hose behind his SCBA like that."
The entanglement occurred during a routine training drill when Johnson attempted to demonstrate a technique he'd seen on YouTube. Within seconds, he had somehow created what rope rescue specialists are calling "at least four knots that don't have names yet."
"We considered just cutting the hose," admitted rescue team leader Wong. "But that's a $400 section of hose, and honestly, we wanted to study this. We're submitting photos to a scientific journal."
Johnson was eventually freed after 45 minutes and a lot of baby oil.
"I've been doing this for 30 years," said Captain Martinez, reviewing photos of the incident. "I've seen people tangled in hose before. But this... this is art. I don't even understand how he got the hose behind his SCBA like that."
The entanglement occurred during a routine training drill when Johnson attempted to demonstrate a technique he'd seen on YouTube. Within seconds, he had somehow created what rope rescue specialists are calling "at least four knots that don't have names yet."
"We considered just cutting the hose," admitted rescue team leader Wong. "But that's a $400 section of hose, and honestly, we wanted to study this. We're submitting photos to a scientific journal."
Johnson was eventually freed after 45 minutes and a lot of baby oil.
Disclaimer: This article is satire. All content is fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is purely coincidental and hilarious.