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Nutella Nightmare: 900lb Man Sinks in Mud Pit, 50 Chiefs Mobilize Epic Extraction

Petrina here live from the scene of the gnarliest rescue since the great spaghetti incident of '22. A 900-pound gentleman mistook a mud pit for a giant vat of Nutella, requiring eight engines, two trucks, and a chief parade to haul him out.

Firefighter B-Shift Chief +1 more

Local • 3 weeks ago

Local Fire Chief Bans Word "Quiet" After 47th Consecutive Jinx This Month

Department implements strict vocabulary policy following "unprecedented streak of self-inflicted chaos."

Probie Station Life Chief +1 more

National • 3 weeks ago

Chud Johnson Interviews Fire Chief on Department Budget Crisis

In a hard-hitting exclusive, Chud gets to the bottom of where all those tax dollars actually go.

Chief Interview CJN +1 more

Local • 3 weeks ago

Fire Department Ceremony Goes Exactly as Planned for Once

No calls, no equipment failures, no incidents during entire promotion event.

Firefighter Chief Humor

Local • 1 month ago

Chud Johnson Conducts Follow-Up Interview After Chief "Forgets" First Meeting

Chief claims no memory of previous interview despite video evidence.

Chief Interview CJN +1 more