Local
CJN Tactical Hat Spotted at Major Incident, Source of Pride
Official merchandise makes appearance on first responder dashboard.
1 month ago
Chud Johnson News Staff
Sharp-eyed viewers of last night's emergency response coverage noticed a Chud Johnson News tactical hat prominently displayed on a fire apparatus dashboard, confirming that at least one first responder has questionable taste in headwear.
"We're honored," said CJN founder Chud Johnson. "That means someone out there actually bought our merchandise. And they're willing to be seen with it in public. During a major incident. On camera."
The hat, part of CJN's controversial "First In, Last to Make Sense" merchandise line, features the network's logo and the motto "B-Shift of Journalism" embroidered in yellow thread.
"We've sold maybe twelve of those hats total," marketing director Petrina admitted. "And I bought eight of them for Christmas gifts. So finding one in the wild is actually pretty exciting."
The hat's owner has not been identified, though sources suggest they're "probably getting a lot of questions from their captain right now." CJN has announced plans to send a second hat and a certificate of appreciation to the anonymous supporter.
"The certificate is just a piece of paper I'm going to sign," Chud clarified. "But it's the thought that counts."
"We're honored," said CJN founder Chud Johnson. "That means someone out there actually bought our merchandise. And they're willing to be seen with it in public. During a major incident. On camera."
The hat, part of CJN's controversial "First In, Last to Make Sense" merchandise line, features the network's logo and the motto "B-Shift of Journalism" embroidered in yellow thread.
"We've sold maybe twelve of those hats total," marketing director Petrina admitted. "And I bought eight of them for Christmas gifts. So finding one in the wild is actually pretty exciting."
The hat's owner has not been identified, though sources suggest they're "probably getting a lot of questions from their captain right now." CJN has announced plans to send a second hat and a certificate of appreciation to the anonymous supporter.
"The certificate is just a piece of paper I'm going to sign," Chud clarified. "But it's the thought that counts."
Disclaimer: This article is satire. All content is fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is purely coincidental and hilarious.