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Maine Waterfront Restaurant Fire Attracts Unexpected Crowd of Seagulls

Birds reportedly "very interested" in the lobster situation.

1 month ago
Chud Johnson News Staff
Maine Waterfront Restaurant Fire Attracts Unexpected Crowd of Seagulls
Chud Johnson News / Staff Photo
A fire at Barnacle Bill's Seafood Shack on the Portland waterfront drew not just fire crews but also approximately 400 seagulls who seemed to have their own agenda regarding the establishment's lobster tank.

"We're trying to fight a structure fire and there's seagulls everywhere," Captain Morrison reported, swatting at a particularly bold bird. "One of them stole a guy's helmet. I don't even know how that's possible."

The fire, which started in the kitchen's grease trap, caused an estimated $200,000 in damage to the historic pier restaurant. However, witnesses report the seagulls' behavior may have caused additional complications.

"They kept dive-bombing the hose lines," Firefighter Rodriguez explained. "Like they thought we were serving food. One landed on the ladder truck and just screamed at us for twenty minutes."

Restaurant owner Bill Henderson was philosophical about the loss. "The building we can rebuild. But those seagulls... they know where I live now. They saw the lobster tanks. I've made powerful enemies today."

All lobsters were reportedly rescued, though several seagulls have filed what appears to be a formal complaint with maritime authorities.
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Disclaimer: This article is satire. All content is fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is purely coincidental and hilarious.

CJ

Chud Johnson News Staff

The finest satirical journalism B-Shift has to offer. We report the news that definitely probably happened, sourced from firefighters who may or may not exist.