Local
Firefighter Buried Under Mountain of Paperwork Declared "Still Alive, Probably"
Rescue operations ongoing as officer attempts to complete 47 incident reports.
3 weeks ago
Chud Johnson News Staff
Station 9 has initiated an internal rescue operation after Lieutenant Sarah Chen was discovered buried beneath what witnesses describe as "an architectural nightmare of incident reports, training records, and forms nobody remembers requesting."
"We could hear typing," reported Captain Morrison. "Faint, exhausted typing. That's how we knew she was still alive. We sent in coffee, but we lost the probie who delivered it. He's somewhere in the stack now too."
The paperwork avalanche reportedly began three weeks ago when the department implemented a new digital reporting system that, according to Lt. Chen's last known communication, "requires 47 forms to document a single Band-Aid application."
"I just wanted to be a firefighter," read a note discovered at the edge of the paper pile. "Nobody told me about the forms. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FORMS."
Administration has acknowledged the situation and responded by sending Lt. Chen four additional forms to document the paperwork-related incident.
"We could hear typing," reported Captain Morrison. "Faint, exhausted typing. That's how we knew she was still alive. We sent in coffee, but we lost the probie who delivered it. He's somewhere in the stack now too."
The paperwork avalanche reportedly began three weeks ago when the department implemented a new digital reporting system that, according to Lt. Chen's last known communication, "requires 47 forms to document a single Band-Aid application."
"I just wanted to be a firefighter," read a note discovered at the edge of the paper pile. "Nobody told me about the forms. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FORMS."
Administration has acknowledged the situation and responded by sending Lt. Chen four additional forms to document the paperwork-related incident.
Disclaimer: This article is satire. All content is fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is purely coincidental and hilarious.