Saturday, March 14, 2026 Sat, Mar 14, 2026

CHUD JOHNSON NEWS The B-Shift of Journalism

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Four Lateral Transfers Hit Big FD: 'We Left Snoozetown for Real Calls!' | Sovereign Citizen Declares Honda Civic 'Private Land Vessel,' Bills Cop $50K/Min at Arby's | Fire Department Ceremony Goes Exactly as Planned for Once | Entire Suburban Street Blocked by Emergency Response to "Suspicious Odor" | Local Fire Chief Bans Word "Quiet" After 47th Consecutive Jinx This Month | REPORT: Local Blaze Extinguished, But "The Boys" Are Still Fighting Alimony and CrossFit WODs at Job Town | Chud Johnson Interviews Fire Chief on Department Budget Crisis | Chud Johnson News Van Gets Stuck in Mud During Live Report | Four Lateral Transfers Hit Big FD: 'We Left Snoozetown for Real Calls!' | Sovereign Citizen Declares Honda Civic 'Private Land Vessel,' Bills Cop $50K/Min at Arby's | Fire Department Ceremony Goes Exactly as Planned for Once | Entire Suburban Street Blocked by Emergency Response to "Suspicious Odor" | Local Fire Chief Bans Word "Quiet" After 47th Consecutive Jinx This Month | REPORT: Local Blaze Extinguished, But "The Boys" Are Still Fighting Alimony and CrossFit WODs at Job Town | Chud Johnson Interviews Fire Chief on Department Budget Crisis | Chud Johnson News Van Gets Stuck in Mud During Live Report |

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War Crimes Tribunal Storming Station 4 Over C-Shift's 'Hippity Hoppity' Lunch Heist

Satire • 3 months ago

War Crimes Tribunal Storming Station 4 Over C-Shift's 'Hippity Hoppity' Lunch Heist

A simple fridge raid spirals into an international incident when C-Shift devours A-Shift's sacred meal prep, invoking ancient station bylaws. The Hague is en route as Chiefs deploy the big guns: extra paper towels.

Firefighter Station Life B-Shift +1 more

Four Lateral Transfers Hit Big FD: 'We Left Snoozetown for Real Calls!'

Breaking • 3 months ago

Four Lateral Transfers Hit Big FD: 'We Left Snoozetown for Real Calls!'

A quartet of wide-eyed laterals from Tinyville FD just landed at Metro Fire, boasting big skills from their sleepy old haunt. Spoiler: Their 'expertise' is turning heads—for all the wrong reasons.

Probie Station Life Firefighter +1 more

BREAKING: Firefighter Discovers Thermal Imaging Camera Also Works on Cold Pizza

Breaking • 3 months ago

BREAKING: Firefighter Discovers Thermal Imaging Camera Also Works on Cold Pizza

A stunning breakthrough in firehouse cuisine technology has rocked the emergency services world.

Firefighter Station Life Equipment +2 more

Local Fire Chief Bans Word "Quiet" After 47th Consecutive Jinx This Month

Local • 3 months ago

Local Fire Chief Bans Word "Quiet" After 47th Consecutive Jinx This Month

Department implements strict vocabulary policy following "unprecedented streak of self-inflicted chaos."

Probie Station Life Chief +1 more

Local Volunteer Fire Department Somehow Responds to Every Call

Local • 3 months ago

Local Volunteer Fire Department Somehow Responds to Every Call

Scientists baffled by how 12 volunteers cover 24/7 response.

Firefighter Station Life

EXCLUSIVE: B-Shift Claims They Actually Do Work, Provides No Evidence

Opinion • 3 months ago

EXCLUSIVE: B-Shift Claims They Actually Do Work, Provides No Evidence

In a press conference that raised more questions than answers, B-Shift representatives defended their honor.

Station Life B-Shift Humor

Station Dog Promoted to Lieutenant After 7 Years of Dedicated Napping

Local • 3 months ago

Station Dog Promoted to Lieutenant After 7 Years of Dedicated Napping

Diesel the bulldog becomes highest-ranking canine in department history.

Station Life Animal Rescue Humor

Study Confirms: 94% of Fire Station Coffee Could Double as Engine Degreaser

National • 3 months ago

Study Confirms: 94% of Fire Station Coffee Could Double as Engine Degreaser

Groundbreaking research validates what firefighters have suspected for decades.

Station Life Humor

Firefighter Buried Under Mountain of Paperwork Declared "Still Alive, Probably"

Local • 3 months ago

Firefighter Buried Under Mountain of Paperwork Declared "Still Alive, Probably"

Rescue operations ongoing as officer attempts to complete 47 incident reports.

Firefighter Station Life Humor

Veteran Firefighter Stares Into Distance, Contemplates 30 Years of "Character Building"

Local • 3 months ago

Veteran Firefighter Stares Into Distance, Contemplates 30 Years of "Character Building"

Sources say he's been standing there since someone mentioned the word "retirement."

Firefighter Station Life Humor

Paramedic Applies Coffee IV After Particularly Brutal Night Shift

Local • 3 months ago

Paramedic Applies Coffee IV After Particularly Brutal Night Shift

Medical director reviewing protocol for "emergency caffeine replacement therapy."

EMS Station Life Humor