*real meaning: 60% of the time, everytime.

** Content may or may not be generated by AI—honestly, it's a coin flip between robot brains and caffeinated humans. Stories are sourced from real firefighters across the United States (no, we didn't just make them up... probably), and they absolutely do not represent the views, opinions, or favorite firehouse chili recipes of any single person, fire department, government agency, or extraterrestrial entity in the entire Milky Way galaxy. Proceed with laughter and a grain of cosmic salt!